Cruising Basics

Cruising is a way for finding anonymous sex partners in public using discreet cues and signals. It occurs all over the world—called cottaging or dogging in England or a Beat in Australia—and the signals used are the same anywhere you go. Cruising is a spontaneous act and typically doesn't involve chatting beforehand to schedule a timed meeting; it is an in-person activity and the first time you see a guy will also be when you decide whether or not to hook up with him.

Cruising was popular in the 1970s and 1980s when society was not as tolerant towards homosexuality. With the increase of gay bars, clubs and attractions—along with the use of online profiles and hook-up apps like Grindr and Tinder—cruising has become a lost art.

A popular cruising area will have many guys already present (during the right time) and you just have to show up to cruise them. Unfortunately, crowded cruising areas have become rare and aren't available everywhere. Fortunately, cruising itself can be done anywhere. Keep in mind; cruising does not guarantee that you will find action. Sometimes you may show up to an empty cruising area or not see any guys your type and that is completely normal. Try again another time.

Cruising signals and cues can be as simple as eye contact to something more intricate like the Handkerchief code.

Left Color Right
Wants a blowjob Light Blue Wants to suck
Wants to fuck Dark Blue Wants to be fucked
Fister Red Fistee
Anything Orange Just looking
Prostitute Green Hires prostitutes
Pees on Yellow Peed on
Bondage top Gray Wants to be tied
S&M top Black S&M bottom

What Cruising Look Like

Imagine you are in a crowded restaurant enjoying dinner with some friends when a guy sitting across the room starts making intense eye contact with you. Not wanting your friends to notice, you occasionally steal glances his way. He knows he's gotten your attention and discretely rubs his crotch under the table. His bulge grows bigger and he positions himself so only you can see the outline of his dick. It continues until he heads towards the restroom. As he walks by he gives you a quick eyebrow raise and smirk. You excuse yourself and follow him in.

In the restroom he is standing at a urinal so you stand at one next to him. He strokes his hard cock and you are too nervous to do anything but watch. Slowly he reaches over and touches your dick. He leads you into the stall in the back. Immediately, he gets on his knees and sucks your dick until it's wet and hard. Then he stands up and pushes you onto your knees. You deep throat his cock until your eyes water. As you gag he grabs your head and holds it down until he shoots a big load of cum down the back of your throat. You swallow every drop. He looks down at you, winks, then zips up and leaves.

You head back to your table of friends. The guy is gone and you continue eating dinner with the taste of cum still in your mouth. You silently replay what happened in your head—your friends completely unaware about what you just did with a complete stranger in the bathroom.

Of course this is only one example of cruising. It will be very different depending on where you are. But all instances of cruising will commonly involve: spontaneity, discretion, no talking, signals, strangers, and hot sex!

A simple step-by-step guide to start cruising

How to make cruising more popular where you live

Just because a listing has no comments does not mean it is not active. This website is useful for reference but since cruising is spontaneous, sometimes you just have to show up in person to check things out for yourself. If you want to make cruising more active near you, this website can help. Here are some things you can do to make that happen:

The more guys there are, the better your chances of finding action when cruising. So do what you can to spread the word and make cruising popular again.

Staying Safe

Always carry identification in case you get hurt or arrested. Providing it may decrease your chance of spending time in jail and result in a summons instead.

Be aware that vice cops may be cruising to arrest you. Cops don't have to tell you they are a cop, even if asked. Don't count on proving the cop entrapped you. Talk with your lawyer if you think you were set up.

Make sure anyone you have sex with is over the age of consent.

Understand that many laws can be used against you, such as having sex where you might be seen by others, adultery, and prostitution.

Protect yourself and others against the risk of HIV and other diseases.

Be aware of your surroundings and the possibility of being beaten or robbed.

Before cruising, tell someone where you are going and when you expect to return.

If Arrested

Stay calm and provide identification if arrested, but don't answer any questions without a lawyer.

Try to remember:

Don't make decisions without talking to a lawyer first.

If you are not a United States citizen be aware a conviction or plea agreement may affect your chances of later becoming a citizen or put you at risk for deportation.

If you can't afford a lawyer, you may be entitled to a public defender free of charge. Ask to have one appointed before you make any statements to the police or in court as it is your right.

Find a good lawyer if you don't already have one. Your lawyer should be a criminal defense attorney who understands the laws and the courts where the arrest occurred.

Write down all the details as soon as possible and share them only with your attorney. Ask your attorney who else it is safe to talk to in confidence.

Make sure you understand the charges and discuss all possible outcomes with your lawyer, including the consequences of any plea or conviction, to include:

Tell your lawyer whether you have a relationship with anyone who you don't want to find out about your arrest.

Ask your lawyer:

Contact Lambda Legal for help and information on finding an attorney.

Condom Use

Some people are only looking for oral or anal sex with condom usage. Others are only looking for sex without condoms, others are looking for condom usage for some sex acts and no condom usage for other acts, and some are completely indifferent to condom usage. Know what you feel comfortable with and know that there are risks for sexually transmitted infections even with proper condom use. Make sure to bring your own condoms if you are looking for sex with condoms. This ensures you'll have access to condoms as well as the integrity of them. If any potential oral sex you may wish to bring flavored condoms.

For people looking to suck or to receive anal sex, it is perfectly acceptable to place an unopened condom near the edge of the glory hole for your sex partner to grab. For people looking to get sucked or to perform anal sex, it is also acceptable to have an unopened condom in view near your crotch when presenting yourself to potential partners. This signals your condom usage boundaries and will help identify compatible sex partners.