Cruising is a way for finding anonymous sex partners in public using discreet signals and cues. It occurs all over the world—called cottaging or dogging in England or a Beat in Australia—and the signals used are the same anywhere you go. Cruising is a spontaneous act and typically doesn't involve chatting beforehand to schedule a timed meeting; it is an in-person activity and the first time you see a guy will also be when you decide whether or not to hook up with him.
Cruising was popular in the 1970s and 1980s when society was not as tolerant towards homosexuality. With the increase of gay bars, clubs and attractions—along with the use of online profiles and hook-up apps like Grindr and Tinder—cruising has become a lost art.
A popular cruising area will have many guys already present (during the right time) and you just have to show up to cruise them. Unfortunately, crowded cruising areas have become rare and aren't available everywhere. Fortunately, cruising itself can be done anywhere. Keep in mind; cruising does not guarantee that you will find action. Sometimes you may show up to an empty cruising area or not see any guys your type and that is completely normal. Try again another time.
Cruising signals and cues can be as simple as eye contact to something more intricate like the handkerchief code in the 1970s and 1980s when men would wear colored handkerchiefs sticking out of their back pockets.
|Wants a blowjob||Light Blue||Wants to suck|
|Wants to fuck||Dark Blue||Wants to be fucked|
|Pees on||Yellow||Peed on|
|Bondage top||Gray||Wants to be tied|
|S&M top||Black||S&M bottom|
What Cruising Looks Like
Imagine you are in a crowded restaurant enjoying dinner with some friends when a guy sitting across the room starts making intense eye contact with you. Not wanting your friends to notice, you occasionally steal glances his way. He knows he's gotten your attention and discretely rubs his crotch under the table. His bulge grows bigger and he positions himself so only you can see the outline of his dick. It continues until he heads towards the restroom. As he walks by he gives you a quick eyebrow raise and smirk. You excuse yourself and follow him in.
In the restroom he is standing at a urinal so you stand at one next to him. He strokes his hard cock and you are too nervous to do anything but watch. Slowly he reaches over and touches your dick. He leads you into the stall in the back. Immediately, he gets on his knees and sucks your dick until it's wet and hard. Then he stands up and pushes you onto your knees. You deep throat his cock until your eyes water. As you gag he grabs your head and holds it down until he shoots a big load of cum down the back of your throat. You swallow every drop. He looks down at you, winks, zips up, and leaves.
You head back to your table of friends. The guy is gone and you continue eating dinner with the taste of cum still in your mouth. You silently replay what happened in your head with your friends completely unaware about what you just did with a complete stranger in the restroom.
This is only one example of cruising and it will be very different depending on where you are. But all instances of cruising will commonly involve: spontaneity, discretion, no talking, signals, strangers, and hot sex!
A simple step-by-step guide to start cruising
- Find a location and read the description to see if it interests you; it might be a good idea to map out multiple places nearby to visit
- Learn the signals and cues
- Show up and go to the correct area for cruising
- Many parks and cruising grounds are after-dark play only; you can always visit beforehand in the daytime to learn the layout
- Comment on the location's listing to let other guys know you're present
- Wait... cruising is a waiting game
- Find a potential guy and cruise him
How to make cruising more popular where you live
Just because a listing has no comments does not mean it is not active. This website is useful for reference but since cruising is spontaneous, sometimes you just have to show up in person to check things out for yourself. If you want to make cruising more active near you, this website can help. Here are some things you can do to make that happen:
- Share holehunter.com on your profiles
- Add pictures to listings without one
- Edit descriptions to help other guys understand where to cruise in an area
- Add a new location if it is not listed
- Comment often and to let others know:
- Time you plan to be at a place
- The hot action you found
- Alerts and tips (i.e. security or cops are there)
- Contact info (i.e snap, kik, instagram etc.)
The more guys there are, the better your chances of finding action when cruising. So do what you can to spread the word and make cruising popular again.
Always carry identification in case you get hurt or arrested. Providing it may decrease your chance of spending time in jail and result in a summons instead.
Be aware that vice cops may be cruising to arrest you. Cops don't have to tell you they are a cop, even if asked. Don't count on proving the cop entrapped you. Talk with your lawyer if you think you were set up.
Make sure anyone you have sex with is over the age of consent.
Understand that many laws can be used against you, such as having sex where you might be seen by others, adultery, and prostitution.
Protect yourself and others against the risk of HIV and other diseases.
Be aware of your surroundings and the possibility of being beaten or robbed.
Before cruising, tell someone where you are going and when you expect to return.
Stay calm and provide identification if arrested, but don't answer any questions without a lawyer.
Try to remember:
- Details surrounding the arrest including everything you or the officers said or did before, during, and after the arrest.
- The names, badge numbers, and descriptions of any officers who were present.
- The details of the space, including where you and the officers were.
- The names and descriptions of anyone else who was present.
Don't make decisions without talking to a lawyer first.
If you are not a United States citizen be aware a conviction or plea agreement may affect your chances of later becoming a citizen or put you at risk for deportation.
If you can't afford a lawyer, you may be entitled to a public defender free of charge. Ask to have one appointed before you make any statements to the police or in court as it is your right.
Find a good lawyer if you don't already have one. Your lawyer should be a criminal defense attorney who understands the laws and the courts where the arrest occurred.
Write down all the details as soon as possible and share them only with your attorney. Ask your attorney who else it is safe to talk to in confidence.
Make sure you understand the charges and discuss all possible outcomes with your lawyer, including the consequences of any plea or conviction, to include:
- A fine
- Jail time
- Forfeiting property
- Having to register as a sex offender
- Effects on your military or immigration status
- Consequences for your employment, licensing, or child custody
Tell your lawyer whether you have a relationship with anyone who you don't want to find out about your arrest.
Ask your lawyer:
- Is it possible to get the charges dismissed because of conduct by the police?
- Will I have a criminal record? Are there programs to avoid one?
- Could I get my record cleared at some point?
- Will the record be sealed?
- Do I need to take time off from work to go to court?
Contact Lambda Legal for help and information on finding an attorney.
Know what you feel comfortable with and remember that there are risks for sexually transmitted infections even with proper condom use. Bring your own condoms if you are looking for sex with condoms to ensure you'll have access to them and that their integrity has been maintained. Bring flavored condoms if any potential for oral sex with condoms.
For people looking to suck or to receive anal sex, it is perfectly acceptable to place an unopened condom near the edge of the glory hole for your sex partner to grab. For people looking to get sucked or to perform anal sex, it is also acceptable to have an unopened condom in view near your crotch when presenting yourself to potential partners. This signals your condom usage boundaries and will help identify compatible sex partners.